Christel Commey

Christel Commey

Christel Commey, She/Her 

Model and body & diversity visibility activist 

orange cut out bikini from saga

What empowers me the most to be myself, is being what/who I wish I saw  represented when I was younger. As a model I have felt and seen the importance of  having people who look like me represented - people who are even the same body  type as well as the same skin colour as me. Working towards being the  representation I didn’t see in the media growing up is definitely what empowers me  to the fullest. It is hard at times, but then I think back to my younger self and  remember the lack of role models I had and that is what keeps me going. 

A lesson I wished I had learned earlier in life is that being different and not looking  like the norm or fitting into the box of stereotypes of society’s made up rules, is okay!  In fact it’s beautiful to be and look different. Other people's opinion of you is their  personal problem, and that is not something you should put on yourself. You are not  responsible for people's perception of you! Their problem is not yours. It is okay and  actually good boundaries of the norms in society.  I wish I knew earlier that I am a  total badass! 

christel commey in saga swimwear

I grew up, honestly my whole life making other people happy and pleasing people.  Doing as I was told and adjusting myself to make other people comfortable, and it  just came to a point where I was realising that I wasn’t really living my life for me but  for others. I had started neglecting myself on a whole because I didn’t want to  disappoint or upset other people by being who I truly am and I guess I just kept on  restraining myself, to conform into boxes to make people comfortable. I think  especially post coming out as Queer, it just clicked one day and I was just like wow I  actually have no power over what people think of me. I could literally be living as  they would want me to, and they would still find something that they would want to  change about me, so I was like if that's the case why don’t I just make myself happy.  It definitely wasn’t an overnight thing, and it’s still something I’m learning every day,  especially tuning out the voices of other people. I try to just follow my own intuition  and do things that make me happy. 

When do I feel most confident? I know it sounds strange maybe, but I think since I  have learned to be in and love my body - loving every single inch of myself. I mean  obviously not every day is peachy, but I do truly feel the most confident when I’m  naked. When I have less clothes on, am in a bikini or wearing a crop top. I think I feel  the most confident in the clothes that I used to wish I “could” wear earlier in life, but  didn’t. I grew up in a very, not so sex positive or body accepting environment so the  fact that I have now come to a place where I can express myself freely, with no  boundaries is truly what makes me feel the most confident. I think the shift happened  in my confidence when I stopped seeking validation in other people and only seeking  it from myself.

saga stories

Doing things scares you and going out of your comfort zone, doing what is not  always cute, flowers and sunshine is what going against the grain means to me. By  doing that you might feel people are misunderstanding you, not understanding you.  People thinking you are too much or not enough or too little. Going against the grain  comes with sacrifices. But going against the grain means boldness! And bravery and  it’s doing you for you and not for anyone else. Choosing you and kind of just like not  really caring what other people think. Like I could be the most “perfect” person in the  world and people would still find something negative to say, so why not just close  your ears to it. I think getting the strength to be able to genuinely do this was  probably when I stopped giving other people the power or to have a say about who I  am. It’s not an easy journey at all, but the more you practice each day to take those  steps towards choosing yourself, you will slowly get there. You know that you are the shit!

 

CHRISTEL COMMEY / @christelcommey

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